Z'S

TER

ely s

my eyes, all I cou

ee

Yo

side Gre

daydreams I had ever had

t butterflies flutter

xplain how e

time, I wa

the edge of my bed and stared at my pho

ULATIONS still d

earlier, yet his words

ing to do whe

t that came with

e in my life, I h

led of toast and orange juice, m

e house because my mother believed t

myself d

with a newspaper in one hand and a

ound the kitchen as though she

perfectly ordinary day

er said without looking

kempt," my m

ing to you

for a slic

plate of baco

t phone, you'd look more presentable

asn't

always compare

none of that

ad

h twisted

I tell

o

fter br

o

only make t

en

folded his

ething

t have somethin

d continue, m

cholarship doe

e it

t t

de it seem as though t

ped my

it does w

m fell

r looked

do you

llowe

e scholar

diately fill

wly lowered t

the sch

r blinke

just detonated a bomb in

et, turned up the volume of the go

y got a

er hands in

, than

ed? You actuall

ea

me in comple

oy everyone whispered about would one day

ou, Jesus,"

he email," my

lly read

eks, I saw a genuine smi

inside m

leave?" my

t mo

anished from her

t mo

es

s too

ook he

ork is too

here this conver

with this ri

too

o NYU, and t

r raised

wn, both

at's waiting for y

thing for m

igh

't you just be

lded h

so desperate to

, pl

ready ex

let

tared

t to b

ion immedia

found fault with al

ough, things

ime, I was putt

know how to d

next month,"

hat's

before either of t

w days were

oke to me unless sh

normally, but even he could feel

eemed genuin

ly going to li

nd lightly pu

, I

mil

to miss your

ou ner

lit

shru

fine. Just

other chip in

be

aus

I don't hate Gr

no

kno

e never felt as tho

the clothes scatt

felt like a

mained

hings easie

w I was going

r things were

, my father surprised me

en

s,

f the phone wi

smi

agreed to let you stay

red a

re you s

remembe

d seen them, I had

rtain was that the Alexis fa

e airport, I was still packing wh

, I was

had come to

e quietly s

ieve my baby

took my han

ea

es sof

you used to cry whenev

hed qu

um

e to help you get dr

st tig

trembled

bandoning

mil

one phone

tears from

a few moments before

e almost

rarely hug

s around her and

e me so

t is

e yourself

mil

hink ab

ort felt

happened

choed ar

ed across the

like the scenes I

e finally bec

ck-in process while my mother adj

ed your m

es

char

um

sm

st maki

you. I'

suddenly appear

re

et before

at the

later, anothe

the a

lifted

e he

dsome

sed some of the anxiety I h

u c

smi

he most important

ered h

ted. I just couldn't accept t

peration in his voice

llow myself to f

you sho

t apol

efusing

ent echoed throug

ng had

t out a s

that's

iled

rve your

sed m

pped his ar

fr

bye,

ost l

alling

and step

very long while, I truly beli