o

the library t

eone who had learned to be unreachable in the middle of a room full of people. He didn't look up when I came

proa

ew feet away and looked at me wit

said. "For my

moment. Then: "You d

se I have to. It means

t imperceptible shift I was beginning to recognise. L

well?"

ng while I was at breakfast." I paused. "I didn't as

s i

him. "She told me you found her two months ago. Th

es

anning to bring me h

nsiderably longer than two months ago," he s

ou were going to fi

es

ow

was nec

of drama. He said things like however was necessary the way other people said prob

were looking for

talks to

ed. "Why? You didn't know me. You'd

ice was quiet.

patient and immovable, and underneath it the

u to say i

t me for a

st redundant. "You have been since the moment I caught your scent for the first time, two years ago

ry was ve

out even, which surprised me. "For tw

now what was happening to you while I was search

s together, and started again. "I'm saying it because I need you to understand that I am not the same person I

w that

you s

ation. "Without

seat where I had spent three days reading pack law and prete

omething else to show me," I

that room, and I had assumed that was the whole of it. But stan

" he

ow

was not what

's pack damp stone, low ceilings, the smell of mould and something w

e separated by iron bars, each one large enough to be functional, and there was nothing in the constructio

three cel

g I owed you, and my mind had done the calculation and then immediately refused to complete

in the fi

for one unguarded moment his expression did something completely involuntary shock, then somet

pha-built and certain of himself in every room he walked into. That certainty was gone. What was left unde

ry little

ts own kind

oice was rough

d. Not harshly

sto

r and calculation that had characterised most of my interactions with her since I was sixteen. She was still calculating. I could se

for situations where being warm to me wa

" I

outh

in the t

e flinched, a full-body thing, instinctive and honest in a way that nothing else about h

" she w

t her for

eaten at my table and known, she had known what Greg was to me, and had chosen anyway. Who had watched them dr

ry now, i didn

bed back up into the light and the warmth of the house above, and only when we were back in the hallwa

oing to do with

you want

im. "That's n

et my gaze, steady and certain. "They'

had power over the people who had taken everything from me. I had imagined it, in the slave house. In the small hours,

hem felt

would. I thought when I finally.." I stopped. "But I don't. I want them to understand what they did.

," Drac

gs about me for someone

" he said.

inconvenient. "I want to talk to Greg," I

ver yo

kept here until I've decided what

nod

ctly to him. He noticed, I saw him notice. "Why did you bring them here? You c

t me for a

who had power over you," he said, "and I wanted you

ay was ve

her the most thoughtful thing anyone has e

be both,

and too present, who had spent two years looking for me and brought my grandmother

to think

kno

ng to go

w that

d. Then turned back, becaus

id. "In the car. That they were

"Yes," he said.

no contex

to figure out when exactly the ground ha

d when I

er fingers to her eyes for a moment, exhaled hard, and then straightened up and said "Okay"

alright?"

here was something about it that felt honest with my back against the bed

ut

Four years of carrying all of that, and then I walked i

p her notebook: Maybe that's wha

ked a

ed. Like you've been holding something heavy for a lon

ou get wise

e: Always. You just

enuine, and leaned over

ant," I said. "About

o you want?

nst the side of the bed an

to eat it with you two and my grandmother an

to her feet with decision,

writing: I'll ge

in her room is perfect," I sai

with silent laughter as

he room, and thought about the light in Draco's wind