RA

ead messages from Sable w

hat, spaced out, the gaps getting shorter each time, the way his messages always did when I stopped responding .. patient at first

tes ago, said: I'm outside. Bu

buzzer witho

s I'd worn to the meeting. I'd come home, dropped my bag by the door, and just .. ended up here. Didn't plan i

he didn't like. Then his key in the lock .. I'd given him a copy two years ago after a bad week .. and the door opene

floor and didn't say

ad?" h

m f

he kitchen f

a good

t beside me, shoulder to shoulder, legs stretched out, back against the same cabinet. Sable had been doing this since we were kids.

ke that f

aning to clean and never did. The fridge was making its low, slightly uneven hum. Outside, the street was doing its ev

d my wrist

went

leaving and his hand just .. moved. He pulled back right

ir

kno

ht? That's not just him being .. that's the b

," I sa

ou fee

g up outside. One of those slow evening rains that

," I

ing. He had a long exhale that wasn't quite a sigh. More like some

ou planning to

ot waiting. I jus

r w

do this without ever

y reached for you today and he doesn't even know your name pr

h my trousers. I'd been sitting here long enough that the cold ha

to remember everything. Not just us. Everythi

now

he'll do when

was

at happened during those two years, if he gets that back all at once, he's not going to be careful about it. He's goi

him carry his own weight for onc

where sore and I

y, keeping it safe. And now you're sitting on your kitchen floor because you saw him for forty minutes today and your hands

t do

ng anything.

said. "Just a little

y said everything they could say and they knew it and they were choosing to let it

," he

ka

r now." He settled back against

N

want t

rea

make you som

ble

round his own because he'd spent enough time in it that the difference didn't matter anymore. He found eggs and bread and the

d on th

tention even if the rest of me wasn't. I rested my head back against the cabinet and closed my eyes and just let the sounds h

proper chairs like two people who had completely given up on doing things normally tonight, and I at

you,"

he said, no

e was talking about something .. work, I think, something about a meeting

n I was

b, the small warm one. He was still beside me, asleep too now, head dropped to on

uldn't name. Not loud. More like a shift, li

I didn't wake Sable

y two spaces down. A light on in the laundromat across the road e

nding on the p

ped in front of it without quite meaning to and hadn't decided yet whether to go. He was completely soaked. He didn't seem to notice. Or maybe he

ow which win

lived. He'd just .. ended up here. Standing in the rain outside my street at midn

watched him and he stood i