opened

, staring at the blank television screen like it might eventually say something bac

heard h

ir

my head

ten. Her eyes moved over me in one quick sweep, taking in my bare feet, my sti

changed i

whispered. "

id. But my throat locked up,

ed to her knees in front of me. "Hey. Hey." H

s all i

inside me

that felt like they were tearing their way out of my chest. I couldn't control the sound

ently, her hand moving in slow circles against my b

eak, hiccupping breaths, she pulled

quietly. "Start f

I d

g had seemed normal until it wasn't. I told her about bending down to check

r about w

in before I even fully opened my eyes. Abou

the fear. Or the sickening sham

the room fell int

idn't

t int

soften it with

tight, eyes dark with

her voice slow and delib

kly. "I don't even

. "You didn't consent. You didn't choo

in again. "It

ed into fists.

odd

egan pacing the room. "D

to check my bag. My phone. When I

opped

she said flatly. "That mome

ng too tight. "Why would he do that? If he wanted somet

ed, then softened immediately.

d between us,

n't even asked how I am. He just sent a

t, humorless laugh.

ed, staring at the floor

n her hands, forcing me to look at her. "Listen to

though my eye

hug. "You are not to blam

, neither

en ways. Sometimes we talked. Sometimes we sat in silence. Lena made tea I bar

er shoulder and whispered, "You're not a

e since that nigh

ext M

headache and a heavin

nd watched me eat like she was afraid

to do about work?"

don't know if

said immediately. "You

ked my

cal

essa

sil

on, an ema

g better. Take all

owed

ffed. "No accountabi

n't r

Weeks

't returned

h. Didn't apologi

t existed only in my

t clear beginnings or endings. I slept at odd hours, waking up anxious

opped answering messages

t grew quiet

he paused and studied me like she already knew someth

ok okay," she

tired," I

t took my hand, her thumb

tly, "have you notic

ed. "Li

eous. Exhausted.

fr

came back to

a

f in the bathroom and took the t

li

es gav

the living room, Lena kn

she whisper

spilling again

, holding me like she could

nderstood something ter

dn't just cha

written m