/1/101907/coverbig.jpg?v=0ba0124054b8f67e93aca760bce85698)
een light to conceive, and I floa
ren, Charis and Donny, names h
lized those names weren't unique-they were a
m, the "perfect husb
n't ap
, claiming my "mental instability" had returned, whil
ty, laughing as she told me to
tood on the edge of the
ok up, and watched his face c
t trying to
low, calculating the perfect fall to d
pte
Hodg
your blood work is excellent. Your hormone levels are stable. And the fertility treatment
tched. Ready
umed me, the clinical depression that had held me captive, felt miles away now. The heavy blanket of anxiety ha
ts blurring into a kaleidoscope of happy colors. I pull
oy escaping my lips. "The doctor said... I'm
. "That's my girl. I knew you'd get through this.
ace. "Thank you for everything. For staying with me,
k with emotion. "And it's all thanks to
h an intensity I hadn't seen in months. He swept me into his arms, k
nst my hair, holding me tighter t
brushed away the lingering tears on my cheeks. "Let'
arlic and basil, a scent that usually brought me comfort. But toni
tion since I' d started my medication. He raised hi
asted. "To our family.
s, Clay. So unique." He had suggested them a few weeks ago, saying he' d always lo
old me how lucky I was to have him. "He stood by you, Danae, when you wer
'd tell anyone who would listen. "Marrying a woman with 'issues' and standing by her side th
support during my darkest days. He was my rock, my savior. And no
troller we'd buy. Clay even pulled out his iPad, showing me some digital renderings o
Charis and Donny," he'd said
ad to his nightstand. As I picked it up, a notification flashed across the
stopped
s high school sweetheart, the one everyone said he never trul
d dread began to coil in my stomach. Curiosity, a dangerous, dark thing, took hold.
th catching in my throat as I saw a fol
er, whispering secrets. Dates flashed across the bottom of the screen, recent dates. Dates from whe
h my chest, burning its way down my throat. It felt like someone had
haris & Donny." My hands shook so violently I almost dropped the devic
hing, her head resting on Clay' s chest. "So, Charis for a girl, an
ehead. "Only for yo
rness in his voice, the joy in his eyes – it all curdled into something g
loor with a harsh crack. The sound was deafening in the sudden
he mumbled, his voice
e, smug and triumphant, seared into my mind. The n
out, the word tasting like ash. My voice was a shaky whisper
its screen displaying Charity's laughing face, then darted back to me, confusion clouding his f
Clay. You can't have children with me." My voice grew stronger,
understanding in his eyes. He glanced at the iPad again, t
y voice raw with unshed
g of realization, instantly froze. The color drained from his cheeks. His eyes widened, fixing on
ad been about to reach for, toppled over, spilling cold w

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