Wretched Self

_Rowena's POV_

My bedroom door burst open so hard it nearly flew off its hinges.

"My Luna!" Velvet stumbled inside, her voice sharp with excitement, breathless and gasping. "He's back! Alpha Kaelen has returned! He's in the east wing right now, with his grandmother, Lady Maelis."

My hand jerked. The tip of my pen sliced into my finger, but I barely noticed. Only one thought echoed in my mind.

Kaelen was back.

I pressed my injured finger to my lips, blotting the bead of blood, but I couldn't suppress the surge of joy rising in my chest.

It had been three years since I'd last seen my husband-the Alpha of the Moonreign Pack.

That time had been our wedding night.

We hadn't even had a moment alone before he was summoned to the Federation border.

And ever since, I had served as his Luna, holding the pack together with unwavering devotion, counting the days until his return.

Velvet, my handmaiden, knew better than anyone how I had endured those years. Kaelen hadn't got enough time to mark me. And Kyra-the wolf inside me-had been so long silent that I'd nearly stopped hoping she would ever stir again.

The Moonreign Pack was small, but it was no easy task for a Luna with a fading wolf to care for her ailing mother-in-law, to weather the elders' scrutiny, to balance the pack's countless needs. There were so many nights I had wondered if I could bear it a moment longer.

But I had. And now Kaelen was home. He would mark me. We would shoulder the pack's burdens together. Perhaps we would even raise children of our own.

Everything was about to fall into place.

As these thoughts swirled in my heart, I dressed with more care than I had in years. I fastened my mother's pearl earrings-the ones she had worn as a token of her bond with my father. She had always believed they would guide me toward a marriage as blessed as hers.

I believed it too.

Earlier that morning, Kyra had stirred for the first time in what felt like forever. She paced restlessly in the depths of my mind, her agitation a strange undercurrent beneath my skin. I had found it unsettling then.

But now, I understood.

She had sensed what was coming.

Kaelen had come home.

The walk to the east wing wasn't far, yet each step seemed to stretch endlessly. My usual composure faltered-my stride, once measured and graceful, now carried an unmistakable urgency. But when the doors of the hall came into view, my feet slowed of their own accord.

My marriage to Alpha Kaelen Varkos had begun like a whirlwind.

After my father and brother fell in battle, one after the other, my mother's health had crumbled. Her only remaining wish was to see me wed-to place me in the care of someone she deemed worthy.

Alpha Kaelen was the man she chose.

Moonreign Pack was modest in size, but it had its standing. More importantly, its young Alpha was accomplished and commanding. My mother trusted that he would be my equal, that he would protect me.

We were not fated mates.

But that fleeting wedding night had been enough to sear him into my heart.

He had looked as striking in his military uniform as he had in his wedding attire-perhaps even more so, with a new edge of hardness about him. When those dark, fathomless eyes fixed on me, my maiden heart had thundered in my chest for the very first time.

"You deserve better than this," he had murmured, tucking a stray lock of hair behind my ear. "Wait for me, my Luna."

Those words had carried me through three years.

And now he was back.

I stopped before the doors, steadying myself. Through the decorative glass panel beside them, I caught a glimpse of my own red-rimmed eyes. I took that final moment to check my reflection-to ensure I would meet my husband as the woman he remembered.

And that was when I heard it. A voice from within the half-open door. Authoritative. Final.

"Rowena has no say in this."

I needed less than a heartbeat to recognize it.

My husband's voice.

"I have already agreed to marry Virella," he said. "It is done. I am the Alpha of Moonreign Pack."

The words hit me like a bucket of ice water, dousing every flicker of joy and longing in my chest.

Virella? Who was Virella?

My husband-the man who had asked me to wait for him-was now planning to marry someone else?

I pushed open the door without a second thought, the force of it surprising even myself. Every head in the room turned toward me.

Kaelen sat in silence upon his Alpha throne. Grandmama Maelis occupied her customary seat nearby, her face a mask of stern authority. My mother-in-law, Elira, sat just below her, and when her eyes met mine, she exhaled a quiet sigh. The others in the room wore expressions ranging from shock to barely concealed curiosity. But my gaze went straight to the only face I did not recognize.

No one needed to tell me this was the woman Kaelen had called Virella.

She was not conventionally beautiful, but there was something in her bearing-a slenderness that bordered on sharpness, a self-possession that seemed almost practiced. Her features were finely cut, her dark hair swept back to reveal the elegant line of her throat. Yet her eyes betrayed her. They held too much: greed poorly masked, arrogance barely leashed.

I had never imagined that one day my husband would betray me for such a woman.

"You said you were going to marry whom?" I fixed my gaze on Virella, but the question was meant for Kaelen. My voice carried a weight that made even the younger pack members in the room straighten instinctively.

"Young Luna-" Hannah, the Varkos family's long-serving steward, stepped forward with a strained smile, clearly hoping to smooth things over. "This is merely a misunderstanding-"

"I was not asking you." I cut her off sharply, and then, finally, I turned to face my husband.

Three years had changed him.

He had always been handsome, but now the battlefield had carved something new into him. He sat with a stillness that felt less like composure and more like a predator at rest. Every movement, every shift of his posture carried an undercurrent of danger. This was a man who had learned to make decisions and live with their consequences.

He was studying me too, his dark eyes unreadable. But I did not flinch.

"I am asking you, Alpha Kaelen." My voice did not waver. "Who did you say you were going to marry?"

A cold smile curved his lips, as if my challenge amused rather than troubled him. He reached for the woman at his side and drew her into the circle of his arm with deliberate ease.

"I am marrying Virella," he announced. "She is carrying my child."

His hand settled upon her belly with a tenderness that made my stomach turn.

Only then did I see it-the subtle swell beneath her gown.

So. This was the reason.

The feeling that seized me defied description. It was as if a hand had reached into my chest, seized my heart, and began to squeeze.

I nearly staggered. Velvet's hand caught my elbow, steadying me before I could fall.

"Is this the manners you were raised with?" Grandmama Maelis's voice cut through the room like a blade. "Your husband returns after three years, and your first words are an accusation?"

"Husband?" I swallowed against the thickness in my throat, but when I spoke again, my voice came out sharper than before. "I have held this pack together for three years. I have spent every sleepless night worrying about his safety. And when he finally returns, he brings another woman into our home. What kind of husband is that?"

"Rowena-" Kaelen's voice cut through the air, sharp with displeasure. "Protecting the pack is the Luna's duty."

"It was the agreement we made when our marriage was arranged," he added, as though I needed reminding.

The words lodged in my throat like glass, but I forced them out. "Then you should also remember that agreement came with the promise of respect."

"And have I not given it?" The weight of Alpha command pressed against his every word. "Three years, Rowena. You carry no mark of mine-yet Moonreign has called you Luna. Even knowing you came with no bloodline, no family, no pack."

The smugness curling through his tone made my stomach turn.

Three years ago, I had been foolish enough to feel something for this man.

"So what you're telling me," I said slowly, "is that I've been running your pack, managing your territory, holding your alliances together-and now I'm supposed to step aside gracefully while you parade your mistress in front of me?"

A flicker of irritation crossed his face, gone as quickly as it came. "House Varkos honors its word. I made a promise to your mother. I will not abandon you."

"But Virella," he continued, meeting my gaze with none of the warmth that had graced our wedding night, "I will also take as my wife."

"You've managed the pack well for three years, yes. But you have not given Varkos an heir. Virella carries my child-and she has saved my soldiers, and my own life, more than once on the battlefield."

He straightened, as though delivering a generous verdict. "You may retain your title as Luna. Virella will share equal standing with you. Equal rights. Equal voice in the pack."

The sheer condescension nearly made me laugh.

He hadn't touched me on our wedding night. He'd left at dawn for the front, and by the time he returned, he'd already found someone else. An heir? I would have needed a husband first.

And Virella? She'd bled beside him on the battlefield. I had secured supply lines, negotiated alliances, held the pack together so he'd have something to come back to. But apparently, that counted for nothing.

My eyes burned, but I refused to let the tears fall. This man had never deserved them.

"Equal standing?" My voice came out rough, but steady. "And what makes you think I would accept that?"

I lifted my chin, looking him straight in the eye.

"If this is what's left of your promise," I said, "then I want none of it."

"Let's end this properly, Alpha Kaelen."

My words landed like a blade.

"I want a divorce."