Vulnerable Moments

Aaah, now that I am idle in the hospital because y'all are too excited or broke to be sick, let me tell you a story. We have to agree however, that when we meet in person you won't ask me about the details I am about to ruthlessly spit here.I am too shy.I have always postponed this story, but not anymore because my mind is quickly getting occupied with more important stuff." Aaaau"is a luo onomatopoeia that is used in inordinate moments of shame.

I have several of such,and I know you too, have your own,but since my brevity far exceeds yours, listen to mine.I was new to the university, and had made it to class early to collect a few hugs here and there, just before our Human Anatomy 1 lecture...our lecturer was,at the time, the only Paeditrician Cardiologist in the entire region,so he was running a little late. We were not bored obviously because it was a time of scramble and partition. ..you know how much boys infirst years tend to identify,admire, strategize and attack fellow freshers to lure them into falling in love with them. Usually you start by trying the ones in your class and if they reject you you look elsewhere( honestly i wanted them to say no because I had my village girlfriend at the back of my mind). I had spotted one., no,all of them. They were all fine and I could practice my convincing power on them.On this fateful day,I had convinced one of them to sit next to me for that class, so I can throw a few sweet words here and there. She was playing hard to get,because she saw that I groomed myself properly,unlike her other suitors.( I went to class in suits and ties)..she imagined that i must have someone already. I didn't want to fail though....so I gave her my phone, to go through and see that there is nothing, romantically significant ,happening in my life at the time. I felt a little anxious because she didn't get fooled and was looking everywhere. ....everywhere even on messenger and messages....who even checks sms when they can simply peruse through WhatsApp. ..nkt.My anxiety triggers my gastrointestinal tract in a way that I am yet to wrap my head around, in a few seconds ,I vamoosed and took the stairs down floor to go and regain my comfort. I got to the men's washroom and took the first door. Whatever took me there was successful. ...in fact I spent a few seconds analysing the aftermath, (Macroscopy: Brown, formed,f**l odour, NAD (no abnormality detected. )Did I have a tissue paper? No, but did I have my wallet with several bank statements for fee and a few innocent old 50 shilling notes? Yes, that wasn't going to be an issue. Water was outside in plenty ,I would simply use the ¾ cut 5 litre jerrican to clear all evidences of the malefaction I had committed.No sooner had I attempted to open the door, than I realised I was in for a rude shock....somehow,the door wasn't opening ....no matter how much I tried. I was only a few weeks old in the university and I didn't quite know how to handle that type of lock...I'm sure I was just doing it right ,but it had developed a few mechanical complications. Also, as a toddler my biggest fear,was being inside the loo,with the door locked ....I would imagine that I might fall inside the pit latrine and I would never be found.In my childhood days I preferred taking care of my business with the door wide open....and if that was not possible I would rather take the shit on my self....my big sister Molly Achieng would clean me anyway. I reminded myself ,at this juncture ,why as a kid i used to drop my paraphernalia with the door agape, and for a moment I regretted why I had dropped the culture I so dearly cherished.10 minutes later. .I was still struggling with the door ,using all my 18 years old masculine energy to no avail. And really I was in trouble. ....remember my phone was in 2nd floor with my crush perusing through...I didn't need it to call anyone to ask for help since i had locked the door from inside and it could only opened from the inside, I just wished I could have it to tell call my mum.or dad and ask them to pray for me.(their prayers always work eventually).You are probably wondering why I couldn't just shout so that help comes....the only way I would be helped was that the door had to be broken down,and that would take several people,and eventually they could end up seeing what I had used in the place of tissue,I couldn't handle that shame. ..I'd rather die. I struggled with this door for atleast 2 hours,unsuccessfully. There was a space in between the wall and the ceiling that I promised my self I would use, but that plan was supposed to happen when there was no one seeing. ,students came in and out repeatedly...infact I would listen to someone come,use the room next to mine, sort their matters nicely and walk away, I have never been more jealous my entire life.2½ hours later, I felt a little silence and told myself its now or never , I quickly climbed up, and utilised the little space available and just before I could jump down, a she- security guard was standing there ,with her whistle ,ready to blow it to creat an alarm because something she had never seen was happening. I shuuuuushed her and luckily she cooperated....She gave me the space and I jumped and free I was.....I'm yet to experience that happiness again... I went home straight and only picked my phone the following day......For the many years I studied in that school, the door remained locked and my secret was still safe...I checked it again on the graduation day ,but this time it was open ...and the evidence had disappeared...Now I am old enough and I don't care Moral of the story, TAKE CARE OF YOUR BUSINESS AT HOME,WITH THE DOOR WIDE OPEN.