Remorse of Love

During the three-month cold war with Alec Gunn, he volunteered to lead a medical team to the disaster area for relief efforts.

It was reported that during an aftershock, a female doctor risked her life to save him.

The two supported each other through a fatal crisis.

When this news appeared on television, everyone was relieved for me.

Some even placed bets on how long I could hold onto my precarious title as Mrs. Gunn.

Contrary to my usual strong demeanor, I quietly handed over the divorce papers.

No one knew that on the day of the aftershock, I was also there.

It was also the day I received my cancer diagnosis.

01.

Alec, my boyfriend of ten years was the city's youngest and most promising attending physician.

A month ago, he led a team to a remote disaster area for relief.

He collaborated with a returning female doctor from Doctors Without Borders, saving countless lives.

Now, the two of them have been hailed as medical heroes.

They returned with great honor and glory.

Tonight, the hospital rented a pub to host a celebration party, inviting the families of the medical staff to join the festivities.

I wrapped up my business meeting early, dressed in a sharp business suit, and was driven to the gathering location.

"Hello, ma'am, this is the place, " the waiter gestured.

The door to the private room was ajar, and I could vaguely see the silhouettes inside.

Just as I was about to push it open, I heard voices from within.

"Alec, why isn't Hope here yet? I used to see her all the time on the campus forum when we were in school. She's been working at our hospital for so long, but I've never seen her in person, "

said a young woman, sounding quite familiar with Alec.

"Don't get your hopes up, Kyra. Hope is a renowned businesswoman in this city, a busy boss who wouldn't bother with our little gatherings, " interjected Shane, Alec's long-time friend.

He and I have never gotten along, ever since our university days.

"She's never shown up at any of the hospital's gatherings. Poor Alec has been like a bachelor all these years."

At this, everyone turned to look at Alec.

He stared at his glass, silent, his lips pressed into a thin line, lost in thought.

Shane was about to speak again when I interrupted with a forceful push of the door.

"Sorry to be late!"

The crisp sound of my heels on the floor drew everyone's attention.

I strode confidently to Alec's side, under the surprised and admiring gazes of the crowd.

Alec looked at me, a hint of surprise in his eyes.

At that very moment, our eyes locked, and an ineffable flood of emotions welled up and surged back and forth between us.

Our gazes intertwined like two rivers converging, flowing into the depths of our hearts.

He looked much thinner and tanned than before.

I wanted to reach out and touch his face, to ask how he had been.

But I couldn't, and I had no reason to.

Before Alec went to the disaster area, we had already been in a cold war for several months.

"I thought you wouldn't come, " Alec's voice was indifferent, with a hint of surprise.

I stood silently, unsure how to tell him that I just wanted to see him.

The longing was like a poison, deeply ingrained, and years of habit only acted as a catalyst.

I thought he would want to see me just as much.

But before I could speak, the woman beside him stood up. "You must be Hope. Hello, I'm Kyra Baxter. I suppose we share the same university. I often heard about you during school, " she extended her hand in greeting.

Her confident and generous face matched the bright smile I had seen in photos.

My heart clenched unexpectedly, a sharp pang of pain spreading through my body.

Seeing my lack of response, Kyra continued to smile and said, "Hope, why don't you sit here? I'll find another spot."

Before I could respond, Alec grabbed her arm.

"No need. She doesn't want to sit next to me."

His tone was icy, like a cold shower.

The room fell silent, the tension palpable.

Kyra looked at me awkwardly.

I swallowed my bitterness, pretending not to care, and smiled, "It's fine. I can sit anywhere. Please, continue."

02.

I sat across from Alec, surrounded by the whispers of gossiping colleagues.

"What's going on? Who invited Hope?"

"This is like a battlefield. Their relationship was so weird indeed."

"But I heard they were already talking about divorce before Kyra showed up, so if they do split, it's not her fault."

Kyra raised her glass with a smile, offering a toast.

"Hope, let me toast to you. I always heard our professors praise you as the most talented student they ever taught. I looked up to you during my studies."

I glanced at her, not picking up my glass, and replied politely yet distantly, "You're quite accomplished yourself.

I heard you've been working as DWB (Doctors Without Borders), helping the people around the world."

Kyra smiled humbly, taking a sip of her drink.

As she set her glass down, she casually glanced at me.

"But Hope, why did you change careers?"

Her question brought an immediate hush to the room.

Alec's hand holding the fork visibly paused.

Seeing my silence, Shane eagerly chimed in, "Well, everyone knows that. Our salaries can't compare to what she makes as a business owner."

Everyone exchanged glances.

Kyra continued to smile, "How could that be? I think being a doctor is an honorable profession, saving lives. That's priceless!"

Shane scoffed, "Kyra, you're still young. Not everyone thinks as simply as you do."

At this point, Alec finally looked up at me, his deep gaze searching for any change in my expression.

But I remained unmoved, my face calm.

I turned to Shane with a sharp look, "Shane, it's been a while. I see your condition has worsened."

"What condition?" Shane asked, puzzled.

"If having a chip on your shoulder about the wealthy is a disease, you're terminal, "

I replied, eliciting laughter from the crowd.

Shane's face darkened instantly.

A familiar face stepped in to mediate, patting Shane on the shoulder, "Come on, Shane. We've been classmates for years. Why do you always clash with Hope? Don't forget how much she's donated to our hospital. Without her, we wouldn't have such comfortable chairs and desks."

Shane remained indignant, "I'm just standing up for Alec. All these years... "

"Enough, Shane!"

Alec growled, taking a swig of beer.

"Alec... " Kyra placed her hand on Alec's arm, softly calling his name, her eyes full of concern.

Alec set down his glass, regaining his composure.

Witnessing this, I felt a chill run through me, freezing my heart.

No matter how many cold stares and criticisms I faced tonight, nothing hurt more than this small gesture.

In just a few months, everything had changed.

Sadness spread through my heart, a bitterness that was hard to swallow.

I downed my drink in one go.

Suddenly, I was hit by a splitting headache.

As the lively chatter continued, I quietly slipped away from the gathering.

I took two pills from my bag and swallowed them.

After a moment, the headache eased a bit.

I glanced back at the closed door, lacking the courage to return.

I turned and walked dejectedly to the elevator.

As the elevator doors were about to close, a slender hand reached in.

I looked up in shock, meeting Alec's unreadable gaze.

"Hope, where are you going?"

03.

Alec and I walked side by side to the rooftop.

I lit a cigarette under the starry sky.

He frowned in displeasure but didn't reprimand me as he used to.

"Hope, you've seen it yourself. Let's get a divorce."

My hand trembled as I held the lighter, and the flame seared my fingertip, causing an excruciating pain.

Seeing my silence, he continued, "Kyra saved my life.

When I was buried under the rubble, she risked everything to find me amidst the aftershocks."

My words were full of sarcasm as I couldn't help but laugh bitterly.

"So, to repay her for saving your life, you must marry her? That's quite the justification for infidelity."

Alec's breath caught, and he pressed his lips tightly together, his gaze filled with bitterness and sorrow.

"If you're unwilling... "

"No, I would love to, " I interrupted him, blew out a cloud of smoke as my eyes drifted toward the distant stars.

"If you truly want a divorce, let's settle this quick."

For a moment, Alec's eyes dimmed, and his expression turned dazed.

Then, with a self-mocking smile, he demanded with a hint of accusation, "Hope, I never thought you'd agree so readily. Have you been planning to divorce me all along? You accuse me of infidelity, but what about you? Can you explain what happened three months ago?"

As the night deepened, the sadness spread through my heart, consuming me entirely.

It was a heartache that felt like it was tearing me apart.

It wasn't that I couldn't explain; he simply never gave me the chance.

Now, with things as they were, there was no need for explanations.

I lowered my gaze, not answering his question.

"You should come home sometime and pack your things."

The house we lived in was one I had bought outright a few years ago.

During our silent treatment, Alec had been staying in an apartment near the hospital and hadn't returned for a long time.

His belongings remained untouched at home.

Alec's expression grew increasingly grim.

"No need, just throw them away."

My hand shook, and the cigarette slipped from my fingers to the ground.

"Alright."

As I was about to leave, a thought struck me.

Turning to Alec, I said, "I'll have the divorce papers sent to you by email through my lawyer. If there's anything you're not satisfied with, feel free to let me know, and I'll do my best to accommodate you."

As I said this, I suddenly recalled our school days.

Back then, I struggled to make ends meet, relying on scholarships each semester to get by.

Alec never looked down on my background when we were together.

Instead, he gently told me, "Hope, you can tell me anything you need, and I'll do my best to fulfill it."

Now, with our roles reversed, I seemed somewhat heartless.

I lowered my head, a trace of sadness flickering in my eyes.

Alec didn't respond.

He only called my name as I left.

"Hope... "

His voice, strained with suppressed emotion, was hard to decipher.

"During the time I was gone, did you ever worry about my safety? Did you ever think of contacting me, even just a phone call? When the news came that my life hung in the balance, were you more heartbroken or relieved?"

A barrage of questions hit me.

I stood frozen, overwhelmed by a headache that swept over me like a tidal wave.

An indescribable bitterness surged forth, and I swallowed the metallic taste of blood in my throat.

I didn't turn back, standing with my back to him.

"Does the answer still matter now?"

04.

When I stepped out of the bar, a gentle mist of rain began to fall.

The rain was cold and piercing against my skin, and the headache raged on.

I leaned against the wall, gasping for air, trying to alleviate the intense pain in my head.

Suddenly, a pair of sleek black leather shoes appeared before me.

I looked up to see a mature and wise-looking middle-aged man under a large black umbrella.

He stood there in a well-tailored suit, exuding an aura of maturity and stability.

Despite his age, his sharp features hinted at the charm of his youth.

"Are you alright?"

Declan Gordon's voice was cold, devoid of any emotion, yet he subtly tilted the umbrella toward me.

I forced myself to stand upright, instinctively stepping back in fear.

"Why are you here?"

He remained where he was, his deep black eyes fixed on me with an aura of authority and intimidation.

"I heard you were here, so I came."

I looked up at him, my eyes filled with an enduring hatred that refused to fade.

"If you're here to explain what happened three months ago, it's too late."

I shook off Declan's attempt to support me and tried to leave, but my body was too dizzy to move.

Declan pulled me under the umbrella, shielding me from the rain.

Suddenly, Shane's voice called out from behind.

"Hope!"

Shane appeared alone at the bar's entrance, looking as if he'd had too much to drink.

His cheeks were flushed, and he staggered as he walked.

Pointing at me, Shane shouted, "Is it because of this rich old man that you want to divorce Alec? Have you been cheating on Alec all along? Hope, you'll do anything for money now, won't you?"

Shane's words quickly drew the attention of passersby, causing many to stop and watch.

Declan stepped forward, shielding me with a stern and authoritative gaze.

Shane was momentarily intimidated, his eyes darting away.

But soon, emboldened by alcohol, he continued to accuse me, "Hope, you're a heartless woman. You've deceived Alec so badly. Do you know he fell out with his family because of you? If you never had any intention of being an upright doctor, why did you deceive him into marrying you? You are well aware that his mother would never accept his marrying a businesswoman."

I forced myself to stand upright, replied coldly, "This is between us. It's none of your concern."

"After all that Alec has done on your behalf, is this the way you choose to repay him? Have you forgotten the life you led before Alec came along and turned things around for you?"

Shane's words grew increasingly harsh as he tried to press forward.

But Declan had lost all patience. Anger etched across his brow, he signaled to his bodyguards to escort this drunken man away.

I glanced at the passersby on the street, just then, a staff member stepped out, and I waved him over.

"This gentleman has had too much to drink. Could you please take him inside?"

After Shane was helped away, my head grew heavier, and I could no longer hold on.

As I fainted, Declan dropped his umbrella and caught me, swiftly carrying me to the car.

"Hurry! To the hospital!" Declan shouted to the driver.

Through my fading consciousness, I looked out the window.

It seemed like a figure was watching me leave from the doorway.

The next moment, my awareness slipped away completely, and I fell into a deep sleep.

05.

The divorce proceedings with Alec were finalized quickly.

I had little time left in this world, so I needed to act swiftly.

Alec, on the other hand, wanted to give Kyra a legitimate status as soon as possible.

After all, they were already seen as a perfect couple by everyone around them.

He couldn't let Kyra bear the stigma of being the other woman, not even for a day longer.

For Kyra, he was willing to leave with nothing.

Alec was busy with work, so Kyra came to collect his belongings.

When I opened the door, there she stood, impeccably dressed.

"Hello, Hope." she greeted me sweetly.

Kyra was indeed beautiful, with a good family background, capable, and charming.

Such a person would be well-received anywhere.

But I was never one to fall for such charms.

"There's no need to be nice to me. Every time you do, it makes me feel eerie, " I said, my face cold and unwelcoming, leaving Kyra's practiced charm with no room to play.

Her smile faltered, and she abandoned the small talk she had prepared.

"Hope, I'm here just to pick up Alec's things. I mean no harm."

I opened the door wider, allowing Kyra to enter.

She began to survey the rooms, but I stopped her at the bedroom door, placing two large bags in front of her.

"No need to look around. These are his important things. I've already packed them. You can take them directly to him."

Kyra took the bags with a smile. "Alright, then I won't disturb you any longer."

She turned to look at me, blinking innocently.

"Hope, you should take some rest. You look quite worn out."

I didn't respond, merely gesturing for her to leave.

"Oops, it's heavier than I thought!"

Kyra exclaimed as she accidentally dropped the bags.

Instinctively, I reached out, brushing against the smooth jade bracelet on her wrist.

"This bracelet... "

I murmured, a bitter taste rising in my throat as I looked at her wrist.

Kyra raised her hand, showing off the bracelet.

"Do you recognize it, Hope? I went back to Alec's hometown with him a few days ago... "

She trailed off, realizing it might not be appropriate to continue.

Effortlessly, she picked up the bags again.

"Since you've noticed, I won't keep it from you. Alec and I have already met each other's parents. His mother likes me and wants us to have the wedding soon. Alec also agreed with his mother's idea. We're all adults, Hope. If you want to come to the wedding, you're welcome. I don't mind!"

I leaned against the wall, trying to maintain my composure.

"Sorry, I'm very busy with work. I don't have the time."

Kyra gave me a smile and left without another word.

At the door, she paused as if remembering something and turned back.

"Oh, Hope, I remember in those soap operas, the first wives are always portrayed as women who can't keep a man's love and end up with a tragic fate."

With a confident smile, Kyra closed the door behind her.

I didn't want to dwell on Kyra's words, but suddenly, my head began to throb intensely.

A warm, metallic taste of blood filled my mouth and nose.

I raised a hand, trying to stop the bleeding.

Just then, Alec's call came through.

06.

I rushed to the bathroom to clean the bloodstains before answering the phone.

"Hello?"

"What were you doing? Why did it take so long to answer?"

Alec's deep voice came from the other end.

"Is there something you need?" I asked, trying to suppress my discomfort.

"Are you home today? I want to come by after work to pick up some things."

"Didn't you already send Kyra to get them?"

Alec fell silent.

I spoke softly, "Congratulations on your upcoming wedding."

The air seemed to freeze in that moment, memories flashing before my eyes.

Alec's family had a tradition. They had been engaged in medicine for generations.

When I stubbornly quit my job as a doctor to start my own business, his family opposed our marriage.

Alec defied his family to marry me, yet we never had the wedding we dreamed of.

He once promised that when we had time, we would have a proper ceremony.

But now, after all these years, the bride at his wedding would soon be someone else.

The nosebleed started again, and it was uncontrollably this time.

Panic set in.

Alec seemed to sense something was wrong.

"Hope, wait for me at home. I'll be there soon."

"No!" I blurted out.

"Don't come... "

Alec sighed, his voice softening to its usual tenderness. "Hope, I have something to tell you. Let's meet."

I looked at my reflection, my face as pale as paper, covered in blood, utterly disheveled.

"If you've got something to convey, just do it over the phone. Are there any clauses in the divorce agreement that you're not content with?"

Alec didn't respond.

I thought he would hang up as he usually did, but this time he remained patient.

"Wait for me. I must see you today."