Torn

I shove my clothes in my suitcase, not bothering to pack them neatly. I need to get out of here quick before he realises what I'm doing. I stop and wipe my face which is meaningless because the tears keep coming.6

How did my life turn out like this? I was so excited about finding my mate, granted the thought terrified me but I was overall excited.

The one wolf that is supposed to be yours, is made for you and will love you through anything... It sounds too good to be true and before, I would have said it wasn't but now, it is.

Just because they are supposed to love you, doesn't mean they won't destroy you.

I had everything planned, I was going to continue with the pup handling and work my way up to becoming a pack midwife. I was going to meet my mate, fall in love and have everything my parents have.

But he had to ruin that...

He broke my heart and then broke my soul.

One week ago.

I yawned, leaning over and switched my alarm off. I snuggled back into my blanket for five minutes before I had to be up.

"Ayla, are you awake?" Owen, my brother, shouted from behind my door.

"I am. I'm getting in the shower and then I'll be down." I responded.

I heard him walk off and I pulled myself up. I plodded towards my bathroom, I was still drowsy from my sleep and tired, I was so exhausted.

Lately, I haven't been getting much sleep. My wolf, Athena, has been anxious and uneasy which causes me to feel the same. Mom says it's because I've been a full werewolf for two years and I haven't found my mate. We shift at sixteen... I'm eighteen, so Athena has been pining for her mate since she came to me.5

All wolves want their other half. I'm excited about meeting my mate, but I'm also terrified. I hate the unknown, I like knowing what's going to happen. I plan my days ahead of me so I know what I'm doing. Finding your mate is one thing I can't plan for, no one knows when or who it's going to be.1

I pulled open the shower door and turned the dial to cold, I'm going to have to shock my body awake.

I rooted through my little shower caddy, choosing what to use. My shower isn't big enough to fit anything in there so all of my products have to be in here or in my little cupboard under the sink.

My bathroom isn't the biggest, but it's decent-sized for one person as long as you walk with your arms straight down by your sides and turn slowly.

I picked out coconut lychee shampoo and conditioner and after deciding what body wash to use, I opted for my usual, vanilla and raspberry.

I sighed and stepped into the shower. As soon as the water hit my skin, I gasped. My eyes went wide and I physically shuddered. This definitely woke me up.

I turned the dial towards the hot setting slowly, allowing my body to readjust to the heat. I breathed out in relief as heat surrounded me.

I continued with my shower as Athena whimpered in my mind. I've tried asking on numerous occasions what's wrong but I get no reply. I can feel it, whatever is wrong... It almost feels like my soul is being ripped from my body, now and again a sharp pain shoots across my abdomen.6

It's coming into the heat season, so I can only assume my body is getting ready for putting me through the nightmare of a wolves heat.1

A werewolf has two heat seasons, the only time a she-wolf can fall pregnant. I haven't met my mate so the heat is bearable although, I dread to think what heat is like when you are unmated and the bond has started to develop.

I have to be vigilant when the heat comes, my scent can drive any unmated wolf insane... Even my brother, which is utterly disgusting and I don't understand why Selene, our Moon Goddess, would allow family members to be enticed by their sibling's scent. My dad says it's because his wolf is unmated and during heat, the animalistic side is more distinguished... He doesn't see his sibling wolf, he sees an unmated she-wolf.10

I switched off the shower and stepped out, wrapping a fluffy towel around my body then grabbed a little towel and wrapped it around my hair. I stood in front of the mirror, wiped the condensation from it then grabbed my toothbrush.

Once I'd finished brushing my teeth, I made my way back into my bedroom to get dressed for work. I opened my closet door and pulled out my pale pink scrubs.

I'm a pup handler. I work in the nursery in the pack hospital. The pups of the pack Doctors and Nurses that need caring for are dropped off with us and picked up when their shifts have ended. I love the job, I love seeing their little faces.

I eventually want to become a midwife. My mum is one of the pack's midwives, I've grown up with the stories she used to tell... Not gory details but the love you see between the mates when they arrive to have their pup and the overwhelming pride of helping them complete their family. I'm a sucker for romance and family, I'd probably cry the first time I get to lay a pup in their mother's arms.

I flipped my hair over, causing the towel to fall. I flipped my hair back as I picked the towel up and threw it into my laundry basket. I sat at my dressing table and picked up my brush. I brushed my hair before plugging in my hairdryer. I dried my hair until it was falling down my back, my natural blonde waves flowing free. I pulled it up into a ponytail, it's one of the conditions of working in the nursery... Always have your hair out of the way.

I stood up and went over to my bed. I straightened the blanket out then opened my curtains before heading downstairs.

"Good morning, Ayla," my dad smiled as I walked into the kitchen.

"Good morning." I bubbled.

I sat next to Owen at the table while my mom continued pottering around the kitchen. He passed me a plate filled with pancakes, I grinned at him.

"Thanks, Owen," I chirped as I leaned over the pancakes and inhaled.

He chuckled and nodded his head before going back to his breakfast. "Owen, Aunt Ava is expecting you after work," mom mentioned, "don't forget-"

"Don't come home or go out until heat season is over... I know mom," he replied.

"It will only be for three or four days. Ayla's heat is due anytime now so it's better if you get out of here before it starts," dad added.

"Thank you, Owen." I smiled shyly at him.

It's awkward to say the least, my brother having to leave because of me... I know it's for both of our sakes but I feel guilty. Mom wants me here with her when it happens so she can keep an eye on me, I think it's so I don't give into my animalistic side.

"Of course... It has to be done." He sighed.

I smiled at him and nodded. "Who knows, when Ethan comes home... All this could be sorted," Owen winked at me before snickering as mom and dad scoffed.

Ethan is my best friend, I've known him forever. I may also be slightly in love with him. We have never let our desire for one another go anywhere. He and everyone think we're going to be mates... I'm hoping he is.

We made a promise to each other before he left... If we both find our mates while he's away, then we'll be happy for each other but if we don't... We promised not to do?anything?with anyone, we wait and give ourselves to our mates...