LENS

I am alone changing my clothes inside my room because I am dirty and sweating, cleaning the house. I want the whole house to be clean. I want the food to be ready before Duke arrives from work because I know he is tired. Duke is always travelling delivering things that their clients ask. He is working in a logistic company while I am working from home. I am doing my online cosmetics and clothes business, and at the same time, I am teaching English lessons to Korean students.

Duke and I are already engaged, and we are living together in the house that my parents gave me because they moved now to Canada. They left their car under my name, too, and we are so lucky to start a new life together without starting from scratch. Duke is working hard to save money. Same as me because we are planning to put up a business in the future. So that he doesn’t need to go to work every day and we have our own time. No boss, no reports and most of all, we are the boss.

While changing my dirty and sweaty clothes. I noticed a man standing behind me. He is wearing a black mask with red smiling paint on it, covering his whole face and even I can’t see his face. I know that he is looking at me, watching me change my clothes. I freeze, and I look at him. His stare gives chills to me even I can’t see his eyes. I know that he is staring at me. The hair all over my body stood up, and my heartbeat fast. He is silently watching me, and he is also holding a gun in his right arm. I feel like he has been watching me for a long time. I tried to get my phone on the mini table beside my bed to call Duke and ask for help, but he made a “no” sign. I step forward, but he steps forward too, I step backwards, and he steps backwards too. As if he already know what I am planning to do even without talking. I shake my head, and he does the same. He shakes his head too. I want to cry. I want to scream now, but what if he shoots me? I hold my fear and look at him.

He walks close to me, and he hit me with his gun on my head. I felt dizzy, and I saw my blood flowing from my head. My white shirt now turns red because of my blood. I feel like my skull cracked. I want to scream, but there’s no voice coming from my mouth. He dragged me from my left foot, going out from my room. I fall to the floor. My blood from my head drips on the floor, which leaves a mark on the floor of the crime that happened. Even I was only wearing a shirt and panty. He doesn’t care. I tried to hold for something while he was dragging me, but I couldn’t find anything. I saw traces of my blood on the floor. He carries me, and there’s a truck waiting for us outside, and there is a box inside the truck. He carried me and threw me inside the box. A box that is enough to fit me inside with a little hole enough for me to breathe and survived. My body is fold, and I can’t move while my blood is still dripping. He covered my mouth with a tape that he was holding so that I cannot shout or make noise, and he closed the box and put taped on it. I heard the truck engine turned on, and we will go to a place that only he knows. I know at that moment I was kidnapped.

I woke up when I heard a noise downstairs. Thank God it is just a dream, although it looks real. I think for seconds, and I listen to the noise downstairs. Maybe it is the man from my dream, or maybe it is Duke. Wearing my pajama, I stand up to check who it is. I went downstairs.

“Oh, love,” I said with excitement when I saw Duke home. I hugged and kissed him. He is the one making a little noise because he is looking for something. Maybe because he thought that I was already sleeping, that is why he didn’t call for me. He doesn’t want to disturb me.

“How’s your work?” I asked him

“Not yet done, I need to go again”, He answered. He went upstairs inside our room with his bag, and I followed him.

“But you just went home,” I said

“What should I do? We need to travel to Pampanga?” He asked

“Until when was that?” I asked him back. He didn’t answer because he was busy putting his things inside his bag. Like his brief, toothbrush and toothpaste, perfume, shave, soap, shirt and wallet. He went home to leave again. He is in a hurry like it is so urgent that he needs to leave right after putting all the things he needs inside his bag. He didn’t even take a bath or rest even for seconds. I watched him gather everything that I am not sure if he will go to work or have a vacation because of the things that he put inside his bag but what should I do? But trust him because I love him.

“Love”, I called him, but he is busy to mind me. As if I am not there talking to him.

“Did you have your dinner?” I asked

“Where did you have your dinner?”

“How long are you going to stay in Pampanga?”

“Love,” I called him.

“Can you please stop asking?” He asked back. Paused. Without looking at me. He looks irritated because I keep on asking him.

“I am in a hurry. Ray is waiting for me,” He said while continue fixing the things that he would bring. I didn’t talk when he told me to stop because I didn’t want him to get mad. I just watched him fix his things and when he was done putting his stuff inside his bag. He kissed me and hugged me.

“See you tomorrow morning. I will try to go home early in the morning,” He said. I didn’t say a word. I just nodded and watched him leave. He didn’t eat the chicken and the steak that I cooked for him. That is why I put it inside the fridge so that it will not get spoil. He can microwave the food tomorrow when he comes back just in case that I am not home because I have a buyer to meet up with tomorrow at seven ‘o clock a.m. He is almost working for forty-eight hours now, and he doesn’t have a rest, but he still chooses to leave for work again.

I prepare the order for tomorrow. It is a red dress and a perfume I put inside the paper bag that caused P785.00 in total. Mark is the name of my buyer and he said it is for his sister and he wants to meet in the cafe thirty minutes drive away from home. I hope Duke can go with me tomorrow. I hope he comes home before I leave because I miss him so much.

I am thinking about Duke because he is so distant now. We are sleeping in the same bed but he is always turning his back at me. He also put a password on his phone so that I cannot open it but even he act stranged now. I still trusted him because he is my long term boyfriend. We have been together for almost fifteen years now that is why I know that he will not be going to cheat or fool me. He is my childhood best friend. I’ve known him for the rest of my life. He is my best friend, my boyfriend and everything. I trusted him because I loved him so much, and I know he loved me too. Next year we are planning to get married, and we will be officially husband and wife and that is all that matters even now he changed a lot. I don’t want to see it, but I feel that he changed a lot. He became strange. Even I deny it, I feel it. Maybe because things are not the same as when we were teenagers. We need to get serious about our future for the family we are planning and the children we want to have. He wants to have twins or if not a baby girl first. That is why he is working for almost 48 hours or more. That makes him tired and exhausted. Yeah! maybe he is only tired because of his work. Even I want him to quit from his work. I know he would not listen. He will just remind me about our future plans. So he will not quit and I know that he is enjoying it. Enjoying his work, enjoying his company even he doesn’t want to tell me his exact office. I don’t care because I am blinded by my love and trust for him.

I lie down on the bed alone without Duke. I miss him so much because he feels so distant nowadays. Maybe he is pressured by our plan to get married next year because of even me. I am pressured, too, at the same time excited. I tried to erase my dream because it was scaring me. That is why I turned on my reading lamp and got my book from the mini table beside the bed. I read the Angel and demons, authored by Dan Brown. Duke gave it to me as a gift last valentines day because he knows that I love reading with a cute heart bracelet with a teddy bear on it. I read until I fell asleep. Hoping by tomorrow when I open my eyes. He is already home sleeping beside me. Hugging me.