SAVING BILLY

The last time you heard of me I was 19 and living with my mom and twin sister. A lot has changed now. I'm 20 years old, my mom has cancer and I'm an addict. Who would ever know that I will be an addict on meth and crack? Thanks to Jamie he has been helping me a lot but my worries are my mom and my sister’s life will never be the same again if she’s gone. I don't know if I ever get clean. Jamie has been my support and I'm thankful I just wanted my life to get better. I want to do better not only for me but it's my mom's dying wish to get better and be happy.

I don't want to fail her like I already did .My sister wants me to be the person that she knows I can be. I’m going to try my best to get clean. it's not going to be easy but I got my support behind me. today I went to see my mom and my sister but my mom was out with Jamie getting ready for his wedding. I wish I didn't mess things up but I know he forgives me as long as I don't mess up again. Jamie's fiancé is awesome too. She has been by my side also. I love my family but I love my drugs too. That's what hurts. I would choose drugs over my family pretty fucked up. Drugs became my new life because when I found out my mom had cancer and our dad passed away from a freak accident he lost control of his truck. My last words to him were going to hell. I was high on meth. I didn't mean it. I love my dad. I'm sorry dad that I was so mean and heartless. I chose drugs to help me when it made me worse .Mom has been in and out of the hospital and all I can think is to call Josh. He got what I needed but what I needed was to get clean. My mom always told me I was strong that I can do anything if I put my mind to it.