Beyond Our Imagination

It was quiet at the dinner table today as if an eerie presence swept over us. We all know it, as it has become too familiar to us.

I stare down at my food: a simple slice of unleavened bread and leftover soup from yesterday night. It wasn't much, but it was better than what we usually had. Lifting my finger, I poke into the bread, taking note of the fact that it was rock solid. I dipped it into the soup and took a bite, letting the taste linger in my mouth before lowering my hand and placing it back on the table. For some reason, it's like I've lost my appetite.

I listen to the silent munching of everyone: my sister, my dad, and my mom. Maybe the reason we were so quiet was that no one was feeling hopeful. After all, we were well aware that Dad got laid off at work. I hate living like this: going day by day using what little we have left to get by. What'll happen when it's all gone? No one is going to hire my dad anymore since he's at the age he should be retiring.

I suppose that's the way it works in the upside-down world called the Kanen ghetto. No matter how hard you try, life's going to swing back at you even harder to make sure you stay down. It's not only me who knows this simple fact, every single resident of the Kanen ghetto feels it. It settles in slowly, yet once you realize it, it's already consumed you.

Sometimes, actually, all the time, living like this makes me jealous of everyone on the other side of the fence in Triary. They live with their skyscrapers, lavish mansions and large-scale monopolies. To them, we're nothing more than pawns to play in their businesses. We work for them and they can turn our life into hell. Why? Because that's just how it works. In the end, life is never fair, but people in the Kanen ghetto understand that from a young age. Triary civilians? They understand nothing and it makes my blood boil.

Feeling antsy, I get up from the table and grab my food, making my way to the kitchen to pack it away for tomorrow.

"Aren't you hungry?" Hyerin, my sister, said with a puzzled look on her face.

"I just wanted to save some food for tomorrow. Since, you know..."

"I know" Her voice dropped.

It looked like she was about to cry. Everyone in the room just hung their heads low. After all, it was the truth.

"I'm going to look for a job. Starting tomorrow. Maybe I can find one" I add hopefully

Maybe a little too hopeful for our situation. Maybe we've hit rock bottom and now, maybe we're trapped. I don't see it getting any better, but maybe, just maybe, I could be wrong. Some part of me still thinks otherwise, yet I try to brush it off.

My mom and dad look at me weird for even suggesting I try to find a job since I'm not known to like working. For the sake of my family, it's worth trying.

I muster a smile and pack my food in my bag. I may not be able to see in the future, but I will inevitably walk around for quite some time. I go over to the run-down couch to sit and think. I like thinking, and since I feel peculiarly in a thinking state, I turn on the TV. It was a simple boxy TV with no colour that my best friend Seunghee and I found in a dumpster by the Triarians. They throw away treasures, I'm telling you. The TV was like a wonder to me - a whole new world, to put it a better way. It makes me happy.

I peek over to the dinner table to see that Hyerin has finished her food. Waving over at her, I signal for her to join me and she follows suit, sitting on my lap. Hyerin takes to her normal position and props her head to the arms of the couch while letting the rest of her body drape over me like a weighted blanket.

"I promise I'll find a job." I blurt out to no one in particular. "I literally won't go back home tomorrow until I apply for 10 jobs."

Hyerin says nothing and wraps both her arms around me, snuggling into my abdomen. Sighing, I pick up my hand and brush her hair out of her face.

Hyerin is only 6 years old and she deserves so much better than what she's being given right now. She's the brightest kid I know, in more ways than one, and just as affectionate. Who else is fit to provide for a kid like her?

I realize only now, more than ever, that I need a job. I tilt my head to meet face to face with Hyerin. She stares up at me inquisitively for a bit.

"I'll be there for you. As long as I'm here, expenses are something you'll never need to worry about." I say softly, continuing to brush her hair.

From the corner of my eye, I see my parents show a smile for me. It's faint, but I see it and it warms me ever so slightly. I promise I won't let you down, you can count on it.