The Mafia Monk

This is a humorous crazy book which will make you laugh and cry a lot. Read at your own risk.

Zinnia Mae White Point of View

Why am I going through this shit again? Why?

It's not like I had done a grave sin to be lectured this way. I just didn't do what I was supposed to, that's it and now I'm being pinned by a glare that my best friend is throwing since the moment she stepped into my apartment.

"You know what; you will get killed one day if you keep up with this habit of yours." Tuyen, my best friend scowled at me once again enlightening me about the possibilities of me getting into trouble.

I want to defend myself saying that I can't help being that way, but zipped my mouth when I saw her glare at me like she would put me in fire if she has the power to.

"But – "I started to try and defend myself despite of her deadly glare.

"I think you need a good counseling." She said looking at me with a determined look.

Counseling?

For goodness sake, I'm not a screw-loose person to go for a counseling session for something so small.

"You must be kidding me. Why would someone go to a psychiatrist for something so petty?" I gaped at her.

Dear Lord, she would definitely sign me up into a rehabilitation center without my consent, for sure. This girl is taking this too far. I need to cut this out right now.

"No not to a Psychiatrist. You would make a Psychiatrist go mad with your nonsense." She scrunched her nose and pursed her lips in to a thin line in annoyance.

"Oh come on, you are just making this big for no good reason." I shrugged away the friendly insult she gave me.

"No good reason? Are you – " She was cut off by the loud sound of the main door opening.

"Hello girls, what are you both up to?" Came chirpy voice of my only family, my cousin, Albina.

Albina's and my parents passed away in a plane crash three years ago and from then on we are each other's support and source. While I am a little hyper and impulse kind of girl, Albina is soft spoken and think-before-you-speak kind of girl. Though we are cousins, we love each other more than own siblings do.

Albina is twenty and was about to complete her university in a couple of months, whereas I'm the older one between both of us with twenty one years of life experience and a very good, most reviewed and praised kinder garden teacher. She's a bright student unlike me who just bluffed in answer sheets and always wanted to be a real estate agent since she has this weird obsession for houses.

"I was just About to Suggest Zinnia to go meet a monk for a little philosophical preaching." Tuyen, who's an Asian by nature and feature, suggested suddenly.

"WHAT? A Monk? "I shouted in exasperation with her absurd suggestion.

To a Monk for preaching?

Is she serious?

"What has she done now?" Albina sighed and took a seat beside me taking a sip from sparkling water bottle in her hand.

Nothing too serious!

"Don't you have any work at your pharmacy that you are targeting me today?" My words are ignored by Tuyen when she looked at Albina to tell her everything.

"Well, your lovely cousin here got into trouble again due to her short term impulsive excitement filled decision making skill which she cannot stand upon."Tuyen said for which Albina watched me with concern and disbelief eyes.

Uh Huh!

"Few weeks ago she signed up for into a famous wedding planning company as a part time organizer as she has a lot of free time in her hands after teaching kids. A week ago when she got the order from her superior to go to client's place and handle flower decorations, she didn't go just because she found the work boring just after working for ten days. And since she didn't go there, the decoration work which should be completed by that evening by the time of wedding is not done and the company had to go through a lot of curses because of your cousin's sudden boredom." Albina gasped in horror at what Tuyen said and I just scratched my head in awkward embarrassed smile.

What can you expect from me? One cannot do the work he doesn't find excitement in.

"Oh my freaking God! What is wrong with you, Zinnia? What if they sued you?" Albina asked still trying to believe what I did.

"Well, they did sue her but I took matters into my hands and told them that she was in an accident that same afternoon and got some fake medical reports from my uncle. This girl seriously needs some wise words to change her impulsive nature. She takes one thing or the other responsibility without a proper thinking just based on her short term excitement and leaves that unfinished once her hype dies down."Tuyen scrunched her nose in irritation and looked at me as if she is ready to kill me any time.

Ouch, she's scary!

"I –I agree that I'm a little impetuous –" I looked at Albina and Tuyen who raised their eyebrow at me in mocking "- Okay very impetuous, but how does a monk fit in here? I mean it's not like I got possessed by a spirit. It's just a small habit that I should exercise correct measure to conquer it."

I tried making sense to them about the monk issue. I mean, think how it would feel to go see a monk frequently like some 'placement spirit possessor for the welfare of the society'.

"Are you trying to enjoy your life surrounded by ice creamy men and push me into nunnery?" I scowled at image of me dedicating myself to a something permanent for a very long time. I was not worried about being a nun but my problem is that I cannot do something for a long time. My hands and legs get itchy if I have a constant scheduled life. I go crazy.

"Oh my god, No. Even just a thought about being a nun scares me to nightmares." I shook my head in despair when the images of me cleaning the churches and temples, doing monotonous services.

"Oh hey, what is wrong with being a nun? You can be close to the God and God will look over you closer. You must be happy and fortunate to serve the Almighty." Albina scowled in offence.

Uh-huh not again!

I can't control my mouth, can I? Now Albina will start preaching me about her experience with God. God bless me.

You see, Albina is a complete God devoted person. She has no particular devotion to a certain religion, according to her God is only one and he is above everyone. She completely believes in him and his miracles.

When our parents were dead, Albina was no doubt as sad as me but she kept on saying me that like how we choose good fruits from market, God also choose to take back his good people. According to her, God has planned to fill our lives with so much love and so they took away our parents because one cannot experience everything at the same time. If you want something, you need to loose something too.

That's how much she is positive. Sometimes I think she would actually choose to go being a nun in future. God keep her away from that idea.

It's not like I don't believe in God, I do. But I'm not a blind believer like Albina. I am mostly a believer of karma. What you sow, so you reap. Like how I'm reaping for my fickleness.

"Stop it both of you. Zinnia, you are no way becoming a nun. It is just like how you go to a counselor for suggestions. In this case, a philosophical and a spiritual monk hear you out and gives you the advice you need." Tuyen explained.

"But... but why a monk? It's too... unusual." I pouted.

What if people come to know about my spiritual counseling trips to Monk's heaven? They would look at me like I'm a unique person to meet monk at the age when I should meet hot ice creams.

"But I have a job to attend everyday so it is not possible to go faraway places." I tried to make an excuse but Tuyen was never a person to take a no for an answer.

"You don't need to go places to find a monk; all the famous monks have created social media accounts to help people around the world. Isn't that great?" Very great. Excellent. I scoffed in sarcasm.

"Alright you win. I will send a message to whoever this monk is. Give me his name." I sighed in defeat.

Well, I as well just try this out. What's there to loose!

"The name is, MonkRail. This is a closed group and they will accept your request only when your problem is strong enough. In my view, your problem is strong enough to trouble you and all around you. They might take a week or so to accept you friend request so don't go spamming them with messages as you have a tendency to expect things to happen in seconds." Tuyen frowned.

'Heaven know what happens to them. She has far too many mental problems for them to handle' She whispered to herself but it was audible enough for Albina to go into fits of laughter and I just put on my usual scowl.

I will prove you all that mine is not a big problem at all. Monk himself will laugh and tell me that I shouldn't have contacted him for something so small when he needed his valuable time to preach criminal and real mental psycho people.

Just you both wait. I will have the last laugh. Bwahaha!

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