An arranged marriage was never what I wanted but it seemed to be what life was dishing out to me, and to make it worse, my husband-to-be preferred women on the ...lighter side. And by the lighter side, I mean lighter side of the scale and skin color.
Pain.
Disgust.
Unloved.
These words explain what I have felt for so long it has become part of me.
The pain I feel each time I wake up, knowing that no one wants me, not even my parents give a shit about me.
The disgust I feel each time I look in the mirror and see what I look like. Fat. Ugly. Disgusting. The cellulite on my thighs, the stomach, the dark stretch marks on my hips and everything, the oversized breasts that surprisingly have no stretch marks, the fat are that looked like that of a heifer.
The love I craved for everyday but never got it. I never really had friends because upon being fat and black, I was socially awkward. Very awkward. It was difficult to strike up a conversation with someone and when someone does it or when I manage to do it, I can't maintain it. So I never had friends to listen to me or a shoulder to cry on when I couldn't hold it all in anymore or a friend to at least lie to me and say "You are pretty, you don't look as disgusting as you think you do."
My parents weren't ever there. My mum was a big shot model who never wanted a child because it would ruin her perfect figure. Yes. Upon being all gross and fat, I am an accident. So when she gave birth to me, she went back to her normal life until cancer claimed her when I was 9. My dad, yeah. Another person that saw me as a mistake. He wasn't ready to be a dad when I was born but because he will need an heir in future, he didn't tell her to get rid of it or anything but he didn't want any more accidents, so he told my mum to do something to prevent further accidents, thus she tied her tubes. They didn't want me, never did. So they never cared enough to check if I ate, if I stayed out till 3 am, if I didn't even come back at all. I was just there in their uselessly big mansion which they used to show off, which never felt like home, which looked more like a museum (which was definitely not childproofed) than a home.
I hated mirrors so much, they showed me what I felt everyday. How heavy I am. I have tried a lot of times to lose weight but after each attempt, I got more depressed and went back to eating almost more because after working out for a while, who doesn't get angry when she doesn't see results?
Did it hurt? Yes. Did I stop eating? No. Did I get bigger? Hell Yes!!
Most times, whenever I see people celebrating their birthdays, I can't help but wonder what it feels like to do that. Yes, in case you are wondering, I have never ever celebrated my birthday. Today being one of those days, I am, as usual holed up in my room and thinking about my life and crying my eyes out. In all my 19 years on earth, my birthday has never been celebrated because uhm hellooo. Have you met my parents? But it's all good though. I plan on making my next birthday a memorable one, one I won't forget anytime soon, have all the fun in the world, love myself and stuff like that.
My name is Danica Maya Roberts. I'm 19 years dark skinned black girl and yeah, probably the biggest and most insecure black girl of them all.
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"Miss Maya, your father requests your presence in his office." Mr Howard said through my room door. Mr Howard is the butler and has been with us since as far back as I can remember. He is a greying old man with the cutest granddaughter, Angel, who was the apple of his eyes. I smoothed my hands down my sweater which was big and mid thigh length. I put on my slippers, hoping that maybe he remembered it was my birthday. The sad thing is, even though I knew my parents, I still couldn't help but hope each year that maybe they'd remember my birthday. Up until my mum died, I kept hoping. Last year, I hoped. Every other year, I really hoped.
I knocked and patiently waited for him to invite me in. When I heard the distant "Come in", I walked in. There he was, the king sitting on his iron throne and reading the paper as he usually does all morning while sipping coffee. At 47, he didn't really look a day older than he did when he was 45.
" Good morning Sir." I said while I waited for him to acknowledge my presence. I was always awkward around him because I didn't know how to react around him. When I was 4, my mother had strictly said I shouldn't call her mum or mummy or mother or mama since it made her feel old. Just her name. My father hadn't said anything and so, I didn't know what to call him. So I just stuck with Sir since that's what the workers call him.
"Maya how are you today?" He replied. Was he really interested? I didn't think so. It was probably just for formalities sake.
"I'm fine, thank you. I believe you are in good health." I replied. Such formal stuck up conversation between father and daughter.
"Yes I am, thank you for asking. I called you in here to let you know that there will be a marriage between you and Mrs. Amanda James' son, Keith."
I blinked once, twice, thrice. "Sir?"
"The wedding is scheduled to hold a week from today. Everything is already taken care of, all you have to do is show up."
"I don't understand."
"I am not speaking French Maya. I am expanding the business and it's a sort of partnership."
"But I don't want any of that."
"We don't want a lot of what we get in life Maya. You are my heir, but you can't handle the business. I am not only expanding it but I'm also securing it. This business has been in this family for 3 generations and I will not let it fold up in my hands."
"But I am just 19. I'm not yet ready to do this."
"I wasn't ready to be a parent when you came Maya. Life happens, you just have to move on. It will be a court marriage and unfortunately, I won't be around on that day, so it will be just you and Keith in there exchanging your vows. Here's a copy of the contract, go through it whenever you want to." He completed as though there was nothing wrong with what he said.
I didn't say anything except take the document from him and then left. I refused to cry in front of him. But immediately my hand touched my door nub, the first tear dropped, and then the second and third and then the dam broke free.
I hated my life, I hated myself for being so weak I couldn't even stand up against my own father, I hated the fact that people pushed me around and I didn't do anything about it, I wished so much I was never born.
Iyana Garvey has had a hard life. A single mum who is focused on raising her daughter and keeping a roof over their heads, all she wanted was an honest paying job. She didn't expect the love at first sight that hit her the day she met the owner of the dog she'd just rescued who turned out to be her boss to be. Leo Harper is a man that seems perfect to the world but in reality, he's anything but. After years of dealing with lonelinesses and insecurities and hating himself for liking his best friend's wife, he was surprised when he caught himself wanting to do things with his secretary. So he makes a proposition to her. They spend 14 days together and get whatever it is they're feeling out of their systems and at the end of 14 days, they'd go back to being boss and employee again. Easier said than done, isn't it? Book 2 of the Unwanted Series
(Book 1 of the Blackwell Series) I had been forced to marry the guy that broke my heart, the one person that I hated, but never stopped loving. This is my first story, don't criticize it much.
Three years ago, the Moore family opposed Charles Moore's choice to marry his beloved woman and selected Scarlett Riley as his bride. Charles didn't love her. In fact, he hated her. Not long after they got married, Scarlett received an offer from her dream university and jumped on it. Three years later, Charles's beloved woman fell terribly ill. In order to fulfill her last wish, he called Scarlett back and presented her with a divorce agreement. Scarlett was deeply hurt by Charles's abrupt decision, but she chose to let him go and agreed to sign the divorce papers. However, Charles seemed to delay the process deliberately, leaving Scarlett confused and frustrated. Now, Scarlett was trapped between the consequences of Charles's indecision. Would she be able to break free from him? Would Charles eventually come to his senses and face his true feelings?
Two years ago, Ricky found himself coerced into marrying Emma to protect the woman he cherished. From Ricky's perspective, Emma was despicable, resorting to underhanded schemes to ensure their marriage. He maintained a distant and cold attitude toward her, reserving his warmth for another. Yet, Emma remained wholeheartedly dedicated to Ricky for more than ten years. As she grew weary and considered relinquishing her efforts, Ricky was seized by a sudden fear. Only when Emma's life teetered on the edge, pregnant with Ricky's child, did he recognize-the love of his life had always been Emma.
Forced to take her sister's place as bride to the ruthless Lycan King Sebastian, Eleanor faces a marriage filled with cruelty and humiliation. Though she is his destined mate, Sebastian remains blind to their connection, his hatred for her ruining what should have been an unbreakable bond. When her powers emerge on her twentieth birthday, Eleanor finally gains the strength to defy her tormentor. But her bid for freedom ends in tragedy-captured, violated, and left for dead. In her final moments, she makes a desperate plea to the Moon Goddess for a second chance at life. Her wish is granted, sending her back in time with her memories intact and vengeance burning in her heart. But as Eleanor plots her revenge against the Lycan King, she stumbles upon dark secrets that change everything she thought she knew. The web of lies and betrayal runs deeper than she could have imagined, and the true villain may be hiding in plain sight.
Rumors claimed that Fernanda, newly back with her family, was nothing more than a violent country bumpkin. Fernanda just flashed a casual, dismissive grin in response. Another rumor suggested that the usually rational Cristian had lost all sense, madly in love with Fernanda. This frustrated her. She could tolerate gossip about herself, but slander against her beloved crossed the line! Gradually, as Fernanda's multiple identities as a celebrated designer, a savvy gamer, an acclaimed painter, and a successful business magnate came to light, everyone realized they were the ones who had been fooled.
"You're mine, little puppy," Kylan growled against my neck. A soft gasp escaped my lips as his lips brushed my skin. My mind screamed at me to push him away-the Lycan Prince who had humiliated me again and again, but my body betrayed me, leaning into him before I could stop myself. He pressed his lips against mine, and his kiss grew more aggressive, more possessive as I felt my legs weaken. What was I doing? In a split-second, I pulled away and slapped him hard across the face. Kylan's eyes darkened, but the smirk on his lips exposed his amusement. "You and I both know we can't fight this, Violet," he said, gripping my wrist. "You're my mate." "And yet you don't want me," I replied. "You told me you were ashamed of me, that l'd never be your queen, that you'd never love me. So please, accept my rejection and let me go." "Never," he whispered, his grip tightening as he pulled me closer. "Soon enough, you'll be begging for me. and when you do-I'll use you as I see fit and then I'll reject you."
COALESCENCE OF THE FIVE SERIES BOOK ONE: THE 5-TIME REJECTED GAMMA & THE LYCAN KING BOOK TWO: THE ROGUES WHO WENT ROGUE BOOK THREE: THE INDOMITABLE HUNTRESS & THE HARDENED DUKE *** BOOK ONE: After being rejected by 5 mates, Gamma Lucianne pleaded with the Moon Goddess to spare her from any further mate-bonds. To her dismay, she is being bonded for the sixth time. What’s worse is that her sixth-chance mate is the most powerful creature ruling over all werewolves and Lycans - the Lycan King himself. She is certain, dead certain, that a rejection would come sooner or later, though she hopes for it to be sooner. King Alexandar was ecstatic to meet his bonded mate, and couldn’t thank their Goddess enough for gifting him someone so perfect. However, he soon realizes that this gift is reluctant to accept him, and more than willing to sever their bond. He tries to connect with her but she seems so far away. He is desperate to get intimate with her but she seems reluctant to open up to him. He tries to tell her that he is willing to commit to her for the rest of his life but she doesn’t seem to believe him. He is pleading for a chance: a chance to get to know her; a chance to show her that he’s different; and a chance to love her. But when not-so-subtle crushes, jealous suitors, self-entitled Queen-wannabes, an old flame, a silent protector and a past wedding engagement threaten to jeopardize their relationship, will Lucianne and Xandar still choose to be together? Is their love strong enough to overcome everything and everyone? Or will Lucianne resort to enduring a sixth rejection from the one person she thought she could entrust her heart with?