The sound of the bedroom door opening pulled me out of a shallow sleep.
I didn't need to look. After five years, I knew that sound-the quiet footsteps crossing the room, and the faint scent of Xavier's cologne.
My eyes opened slowly as he stopped beside the bed. He was still wearing his black trousers and white shirt, sleeves rolled up to his forearms, his expression unreadable.
"You're late," I whispered.
He didn't answer. He never came to our room at this hour unless he wanted something from me, and I had learned not to ask what.
The silence between us was familiar. Xavier sought me out only for physical closeness-no conversation, no tenderness, and no lingering touches in the morning.
I watched him lean down, his shadow heavy over me, the faint scent of expensive bourbon mixing with his cologne. He was slightly intoxicated, his movements loose yet filled with a dark, restrained intensity.
Without a word, he unbuttoned his shirt, letting it slide off his shoulders before reaching for me. His hands were warm, firm, and yet undeniably distant as he unzipped my dress, slowly shedding the layers between us. The air in the room grew thick with an undeniable heat-raw, silent, and laced with the haze of alcohol, yet entirely devoid of emotional warmth. It was a purely physical connection, a heavy tide of passion without a trace of love. I closed my eyes, letting the quiet weight of the night take over until it was done.
Morning arrived long before I was ready to face it.
I woke slowly, every limb weighed down by a familiar, lingering exhaustion.
When I reached out, my hand met only chilling space; the other side of the bed was already cold.
Xavier was gone.
Of course he was-he always vanished before I could even open my eyes.
For five years, that cruel rhythm had been the foundation of our marriage.
He entered our room only under the cover of darkness, unless he explicitly required me awake for him.
And every single morning, he slipped away before the first pale rays of dawn could touch the floorboards.
It was as if he had never been there at all.
Almost.
I turned my head toward the bedside table.
A small glass of water sat waiting in the quiet room.
Beside it rested a single, stark white pill.
My eyes lingered on it, heavy with an ache that time had failed to dull.
I didn't need to ask what it was; the ritual was far too old.
My fingers curled tightly into the satin sheet beneath me.
For a long moment, I simply stared at the tiny shape resting on the polished wood.
Then, unbidden, the ghost of an old memory surfaced to pull me under.
Five years ago.
The morning after our wedding was the first time I woke up as Mrs. Xavier Kingsley.
I had been so naive then-nervous, yet embarrassingly hopeful. I remembered opening my eyes to an empty room, just as I had today. But sitting beside the glass of water was something new: a small white pill.
Confused, I picked it up between my fingertips. When Xavier re-entered the room, I looked up at him, seeking answers.
His expression remained completely unreadable. "Take it."
"What is it?"
"Contraception," he answered, his voice cold and effortless.
I stared at him, my pulse faltering. "Why?"
"I don't want children," he said without a second's hesitation.
My heart sank. "Never?" I whispered.
His eyes met mine-distant, unyielding, and utterly certain. "Not with you."
Those three words cut deeper than I could bear, but the true blow came as he reached the doorway. Pausing, he turned his head slightly.
"My lover is gone," he said quietly, "and I don't want anyone else."
I knew exactly who he meant. Vivienne. My sister. The woman he actually loved, the woman whose place I had taken after she vanished five years ago, leaving me to stand beside the man she abandoned.
I swallowed my tears that morning and took the pill. And I continued to take it, every single time, for half a decade.
I blinked, pulling myself back to the present. The memory receded, but the dull ache remained.
For five years, I had shared his bed, woken up alone, and quietly prayed that he might finally look at me and see Elena-not a replacement, not an obligation, but me.
I closed my fingers around the pill on the nightstand, a bitter smile touching my lips. I had spent half a decade waiting for something that was never there.
Outside, golden morning light spilled through the curtains, casting a warm glow over a room that felt unbearably empty. Xavier had already returned to his world-his company, his meetings, his empire. Meanwhile, I was left behind as his wife, possessing every luxury a Mrs. Kingsley could ever want, except his heart.
I looked down at the tiny pill resting in my palm. For the first time, I didn't swallow it right away.
Five years was long enough to hold onto a ghost. It was time to stop hoping Xavier Kingsley would choose me, because the truth was painfully simple: he never had, and he never would.